


Call Your Girlfriend

by thatwasahaiku



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-14
Updated: 2013-03-14
Packaged: 2017-12-05 06:37:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/719992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatwasahaiku/pseuds/thatwasahaiku
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>written while listening to Barcelona's cover of Robyn's song on repeat for about two hours. Lots of feelings... sorry</p>
            </blockquote>





	Call Your Girlfriend

“Alright boys, we’ll break there for lunch”

 

“Jesus Christ, thank you. It’s about bloody time” Niall practically leapt out of his seat and ran to the door of the studio, knocking over the poor bastards standing in his way.

 

“You don’t think he’s hungry, do you?” Harry drawled lazily from where he was lying on a couch, his fingers texting rapidly, his eyes glued to the screen of his phone.

 

“Niall? Hungry?” Louis pushed Harry’s legs off of his lap and stood up to stretch. Liam winced as he heard Louis’ spine crack multiple times. “Never.”

 

“Yeah, I didn’t think so” Harry stretched an arm up which Louis grabbed to hoist him up. “You wanna hit up that deli ‘round the block?”

 

“We went there yesterday.” Louis pouted

 

“And the day before” Zayn echoed from where he was standing over by the door, jacket already on and a pack of smokes in his hand.

 

“You say that like it’s a bad thing”

 

Liam rolled his eyes, but a smile was tugging at his lips. While his bandmates gathered their things together he remained where he was.

 

“You coming, Li?” Zayn asked.

 

Liam looked up from the mixing board he was studying. Granted, he had no idea what any of the switches or dials actually did, but he liked to pretend that he could know eventually. Something tugged deep within Liam and he shook his head. “Nah, you guys go on without me”

 

“You sure” Zayn didn’t move from where he was standing in the doorway. “You haven’t eaten anything since breakfast.”

 

“Really, I’m fine.” Liam leaned back in his chair and waved a hand nonchalantly at Zayn. “You guys go eat. I want to look over some stuff here”

 

Zayn raised an eyebrow and said, “If you’re sure…” but he still looked uncertain.

 

“Zayn. Seriously. Go eat. I’ll see you in an hour or two” His confidence was beginning to crumble and if Zayn didn’t do as Liam asked soon, well…

 

“Zayn! Hurry your fucking arse up. Harry’s about to eat his own arm off”

 

“No I’m not!”

 

“Zayn! Let’s go. Is Liam coming?”

 

Zayn stuck his head out of the doorway and called down the hall, “I’m coming!” He turned back to look one more time at Liam. “Positive? You,” he fumbled for the right words for a moment before saying, “you look like you want to talk about something.”

 

“Zayn, I’m fine. Seriously, go!” Liam pointed out the doorway.

 

Soon enough, Liam was left to his own devices in the recording studio, a thought that both terrified him and left him breathless with excitement.

 

Today was their last day in the studio. After this they would have a few weeks filled with photo-shoots and press and a video shoot somewhere in there for the first single. These next few days were going to be the last quiet ones they’d have for while. Liam didn’t know if he was excited for the next few months or…no, of course he was excited. This, the band, performing, the fans, this is all he’d ever wanted, all he’d ever dreamed of. He was Liam Payne, member of one of the biggest boybands in history. And yet…

 

Liam pushed himself up off the chair and wandered around aimlessly. He’d been feeling it for weeks, a sort of restless energy deep in his veins. Its presence had been there for months, long before Danielle had…well…Liam rubbed his fingers over his freshly buzzed hair. He was strong; he could do this.

 

Out of the corner of his eye he spotted some candy wrappers and empty bags of crisps in Niall’s corner. “Filthy animal” He muttered to himself and went to collect the trash and put it all in the bin. Harry’s area was slightly tidier than Niall’s, and Louis’ for some reason was spotless. Liam chalked that one up to him always being in everyone else’s space. Zayn’s too was clean-Liam paused and let his fingers ghost over the random things Zayn had collected: a sketchbook, a couple novelty pens, an empty package of smokes, a letter from- Liam’s gut constricted.

 

Perrie was a lovely girl, she really was. She brought a smile to Zayn’s face that Liam hadn’t seen in ages. His laughter was one of Liam’s favorite sounds and the fact that Perrie could make him laugh just like he could, well…Liam was happy for him. He was. He was happy for the both of them. Zayn deserved to be happy; Zayn deserved the entire world.

 

Zayn was his entire world.

 

Liam tried to swallow down the feelings as they fought their way out of his chest and up his throat. He wasn’t going to break down and cry, no. Not here, not now. Liam was better than that; Liam had more class and dignity. If he was going to break down and cry over the fact that he had somehow managed to fall in love with one of his bandmates over the past year it would be in the safe, private, confines of his flat. With the door locked, the windows shut, and the blinds drawn. In the dark.

 

He soon found himself sitting down at the piano in the back of the recording room, his fingers hovering over the keys. There was something deep inside that needed to get out; there was a tidal wave of emotions waiting to spill from his being, to be poured into some sort of creative outlet. Going out and partying with Andy hadn’t done it. No, the thought was still there as he finally stepped into the role of a teenage pop star. Goofing off with Louis and acting like a child again hadn’t done it either.

 

Liam was an emotional time bomb. It seemed like every inch of him was screaming to just do it, to just declare his love to Zayn. He craved Zayn’s skin against his own; their lips pressed together, bodies moving as one. If he didn’t get Zayn, if he didn’t make Zayn his own…Liam didn’t know what he was going to do.

 

Fingers found themselves pressing down on keys and Liam was gutted by the sound of the chord. _“Am I really doing this?”_ he asked himself as they shifted to the next.

 

It was a simple song, something he’d learned back when Louis was teaching him how to play.

 

(“Practically everyone and their grandmother has covered this song.” Louis had told him. “It will be fun”

 

“I don’t like sad songs” Liam had retorted. “This seems like a sad song”

 

“Nonsense, it’s happy. The two are in love. And please, it’s Robyn. How can Robyn be sad?”

 

“Dancing on My Own is relatively sad”

 

“Shut it, Payne”)

 

**_Call your girlfriend, it’s time you had the talk_ **

 

Liam’s voice was surprisingly weak and he cleared his throat before changing his finger placement on the keys.

 

**_Give your reasons; say it’s not her fault._ **

 

He let his eyes close and fingers play from memory, the words spilling out of their own accord.

 

**_But you just met somebody new_ **

 

What if he hadn’t messed up? What if Liam had realized before Perrie? What if Liam had opened his bloody eyes and realized what was right in front of him, who was right in front of him, this entire time.

 

His voice grew stronger as he began the first verse. This was a world in which he hadn’t fucked it all up.

 

**_Tell her not to get upset, second-guessing everything you said and done. And when she gets upset tell her how you never meant to hurt no one._ **

 

Because Zayn would never mean to hurt anyone, especially not someone he loved. And Zayn loved Perrie. Liam was man enough to see it and accept it. But…what if Zayn was in love with Liam too. What if it was LiamandZayn instead of ZaynandPerrie

 

**_And you tell her that the only way her heart will mend is when she learns to love again, and it won’t make sense right now but you’re still her friend. And you let her down easy_ **

****

**_Call your girlfriend, it’s time you had the talk. Give your reasons; say it’s not her fault. But you-_ **

 

Liam’s voice cracked and he realized that he was near to tears.

 

**_But you just met somebody new_ **

 

Liam realized that there must have been a time when Zayn loved him. Looking back on it all Liam wanted to smack himself upside the head for being so incredibly thick. How could he have missed it? And thinking that his feelings for Zayn were platonic, simple and relaxed, Liam laughed at his past self. The fact that he actually believed they were just good friends, really really good friends. Best friends.

 

**_Don’t tell her how I give you something that you never even knew you missed_ **

 

What if I could give him that? What if I could be that part of him, the piece to complete him. Could I be the person to make Zayn the best Zayn?

 

**_Don’t you even try and explain how it’s so different when we kiss_ **

 

And oh the nights he’d spent, sleeplessly wondering what it would be like to kiss Zayn. To really kiss him, with feelings and intention and devotion and love and everything that Liam could provide. Because he could, he could give it all for Zayn…if Zayn would let him

 

**_You tell her that the only way her heart will mend is when she learns to love again, and it won’t make sense right now but you’re still her friend. And you let her down easy._ **

 

Perrie was good for Zayn, was great for him, _“but I could be great too. I could be perfect too.”_ He let out a trembling breath, _“We could be perfect together.”_ Liam thought shamelessly before transitioning to the chorus once more.

 

**_Call your girlfriend, it’s time you had the talk. Give your reasons; say it’s not her fault. That you just met somebody new, and now it’s gonna be me and you_ **

 

Liam and Zayn.

 

Zayn and Liam

 

They could be LiamandZayn. ZaynandLiam.

 

They could take on the world together. They could be each other’s world.

 

It could be Liam who held Zayn’s hand (even though he swore he didn’t need it) when he got yet another tattoo.

 

It could be Zayn who slipped things into Liam’s shopping cart as they made a late night grocery run.

 

It could be Liam who knew exactly when to give Zayn a fresh mug of tea and when to say that he’d had enough for the night.

 

It could be Zayn that Liam curled up into when he was feeling the pressure of being _THE_ Liam Payne of One Direction.

 

It could be Liam that loved Zayn, and it could be Zayn who loved Liam.

 

**_And you tell her that the only way her heart will mend is when she learns to love again, and it won’t make sense right now but you’re still her friend. And then you let her down easy_. **

 

Zayn could let Perrie down easy. He would make her understand. She would have to understand…

 

But it was all worthless. _“This entire fantasy is…fantasy”_ Liam wiped the tears out of his eyes. _“Zayn loves Perrie. He loves his girlfriend”_

 

His voice shook as he played on, determined to finish his meager interpretation of the song.

 

**_Call your girlfriend, it’s time you had the talk. Give your reasons; say it’s not her fault._ **

 

Liam let out a shaky breath. The tidal wave of emotions he’d been holding back for so long was beginning to give way. It was hard having to hide your love for someone, for your best friend. Liam honestly didn’t know how he’d managed it for so long or how he was going to keep it up.

 

**_Call your girlfriend, it’s time you had the talk. Give your reasons; say it’s not her fault._ **

 

Liam closed his eyes and his fingers found the final chord.

 

**_That you_ **

 

Zayn.

 

Zayn Zayn Zayn.

 

It was always going to be Zayn.

 

**_Just met somebody new_ **

 

He let his fingers slide gently off the keys, the phantom chord hanging hauntingly in the air around him.

 

Liam hadn’t realized just how much he needed to do that, to cry and sing his feelings.

 

“Talk about cliché.” Liam mumbled, laughing at himself. The tears were wiped away easily, his cheeks and eyes dried before he straightened up at the piano.

 

“Um,”

 

Liam stiffened as he heard someone behind him clear his throat.

 

“Liam?”

 

_“Please, please, please let it not be him”_ Liam prayed to fate or luck or karma or God or whatever it was that was in charge of how these things played out. Turned out that none of those things were on his side, not even karma.

 

Zayn was standing a few feet behind him, leaning up against one of the random stools in the studio. His arms were crossed, like he was holding himself together. The glasses that Liam teased him earlier for wearing had been removed and slid into Zayn’s front pocket. He looked confused

 

“I thought you went to lunch with the guys” Liam asked shakily

 

“Louis forgot his phone” he raised Louis’ phone in the air as proof.

 

Liam faked a smile, though he knew that Zayn would see right through it. “He does have a tendency to do that, doesn’t he?”

 

“Yeah, he does…” Zayn trailed off.

 

Liam focused on his cuticles as he said lightly, “So I guess I’ll see you back in a-”

 

“What was that?”

 

“What?”

 

“That”

 

“That what?”

 

“You know what. What was that?”

 

Liam shrugged. He had to keep up the charade; it wasn’t worth the risk being honest. There were too many people that could be hurt if he was honest, himself included. “Just a song. Wanted to practice playing the piano”

 

“You haven’t played in ages”

 

“Which is why I wanted to pick it back up”

 

Zayn stared at him, trying to figure out silently what Liam was keeping from him. “Why…I mean…that song…any reason in particular?”

 

Liam pushed down the urge to let it all spill out, to rip his chest open and give it all to Zayn on the silver platter he deserved but would probably reject without a single glance. “Not really”

 

His throat tightened. Calm, cool, and collected: the definition of Liam Payne. “Just a song”

 

“Liam, you sounded like you were cr-”

 

“Zayn, it was just a song” Liam lifted his eyes to meet the ones that had haunted his dreams for weeks. Emotions had to kept in check. He couldn’t do this to Zayn, he couldn’t do this to Perrie, he couldn’t do this to the band, hell, he especially couldn’t do this to himself _. “It’s better this way”_ Liam assured himself. _“I can handle this. I can find someone else. I can…I can be me, even without him.”_

 

“A simple song, nothing to worry yourself about.”

 

He counted Zayn’s smile as a victory, even though the feeling of his heart plummeting to the inner circle of Dante’s inferno told him otherwise.

 

“I’d tell you if something was wrong, I promise” 


End file.
